In Which Lucifer Learns of the Three Demons' Plot and the Antichrist's Brother is Sodomized
It had been a matter of course for Dorimant to become his sister's secretary even when she took her proper place as the world's Antichrist. He had been her secretary before, after all, and the shift of position for secretary to a lawyer to secretary to the Antichrist was more lateral than you might expect. Lucifer's insistence on his continuing to work with Jilly-- his exact words had been, "There WILL be sodomy in this apocalypse,"-- had been no small part in Dorimant's decision, especially considering the frequent tugging and sexual harassment that accompanied these demands. It was hard to resist sexual harassment from Lucifer himself. Unfortunately, the result of Dorimant's new job position meant that he had to be secretary to the Devil as well, considering the entwined nature of Lucifer's and Jilly's duties.
Life sucked. Dorimant rather figured that life sucking was the point of the apocalypse, though, so that was all right.
Dorimant approached Lucifer's throne with trepidation and a clipboard. "Sir," he acknowledged with the barest amount of civility. Lucifer leered meaningfully; Dorimant ignored skillfully. They had a quid pro quo thing going on. "I've received reports of misconduct on the behalf of Asmodeus, Leviathan, and Azrael. It appears that there have been sightings all over the world recently of a 'obscenely large lizard' or 'frightening dragon' depending on your magazine of choice. Azrael seems to be seeking out Death himself, and reports of Asmodeus suggests that any town she enters devolves into a mass orgy." Lucifer's eyes glazed over longingly at this point, and his leer grew more pronounced. "Sir, pay attention to the words and not the pictures in your head."
Lucifer snapped out of it abruptly and began frowning, which made his angelic face take on a sinister cast. It invoked fear in the demons under Lucifer's command, though personally, Dorimant thought it made him look like a little boy trying to take his parents to task. Cute, but ineffective.
Suddenly, Lucifer smiled again. The room brightened; the walls turned from gray to pale yellow, the lights grew brighter, and, mysteriously, it turned from night to day outside. Entirely too dramatic, Lucifer was. Doors probably opened themselves before him, and Dorimant considered it likely that there were sound effects and flashes of lightning whenever he entered a room. Rather like Dracula.
The image of Lucifer dressed as one of Dracula's skimpily-clad brides was one that Dorimant was forced to push from his mind.
"I'll sit them down and we'll have a talk," Lucifer said cheerily, levering himself gracefully from his throne and descending the dais down to stand before Dorimant. "Now, how about that sodomy?"
Dorimant rolled his eyes, tucking his clipboard under one arm. "I'm afraid you have entirely too much work, sir," he said.
Lucifer grinned. "I finished it all already. I even remembered to sign the contracts for the production of the new Star Wars movie." Dorimant shuddered at the thought of yet another Star Wars movie and wondered if they wouldn't ruin this new one. Considering that Lucifer had a hand in it, Dorimant rather doubted it. "So, sodomy anyone?"
Dorimant found himself considering it. Well, his work for the day was technically done, and Lucifer was awfully pretty, and those blonde curls were kind of cute, and really....
"I have an appointment at six," Dorimant warned.
A gleeful Lucifer probably wasn't a good thing, but Dorimant didn't care, and after a few minutes and some rather innovative use of tongue, Dorimant decided that sodomy was quite the enjoyable exercise. One that everyone should enjoy. Sodomy for all.
